Jack: 1 Month

For my daughter, Mia, I diligently wrote (by hand) in a journal for her first year of life.  There is no way in hell I'm doing that now...sorry Jack.  I figure a good compromise is to make an intention to have a blog post every month to document Jack's life...at least for this first year.  I hope to include the good, the bad and the ugly and be as honest and candid as possible.  For this month's post, I have to apologize for the lame iPhone pictures.  Nate has been SUPER busy with various work related things and sadly, has not found the time to really edit and go through our pics of Jack and the family.  He better get to it this next month :)

It helps me to stay focused if I have headings or topics, so for Jack's first month I am choosing to address these topics: Outings, Nursing, Sleep and Adjustments (Mia's and ours).

Outings: I have definitely been more in the "hibernation mood" this month, mainly due to the blah weather and me simply wanting to allow myself some down time and for it to be okay NOT filling my days by doing doing doing.  That being said, we have had several outings and for the most part, they have been very successful :)

• Mall of America (I know, we are crazy)=first weekend as a family of four, went on rides, shopped at Old Navy, successfully nursed in public for the first time with Jack, everyone had a blast!
• Groveland Tap=burgers and beers after the MOA.  Great time....except for when Mia found old gum under the seat and started chewing it....NASTY!
• Crooked Pint Ale House=lunch outing with Jack while Nate was still on leave...yummy food and beer
• Fuji-Ya=Valentine's Day night dinner with Nate...Jack was there too, but was sound asleep the entire time in his car seat...so perfect :)
• Target=duh, who doesn't go to Target soon after a kid is born
• Healtheast clinic=1wk check up followed by two more weeks of "weight checks" to monitor weight gain.  Jack was 8lb 3oz at birth, 7lb 12oz at discharge, 7lb 14oz at one week, 8lb 1 oz at two weeks, 8lb 12oz at three weeks.  He's good to go :)
• MN Children's Museum=always a good time.  Mia had a blast and Jack was asleep in his car seat the whole time.
• Nate's work=to fax in paper work for short term disability and to show off our son.
• Java Train=weekend morning visit for coffee and treats, Mia played and Jack slept.
• Multiple visits with family and friends (maybe like 6-7)=birthdays, brunches, dinners, lunches to introduce Jack and to keep in touch with so many people that care about us :)

Nursing: So far so good! I am trying very very hard to stay calm and relaxed about nursing because I do believe that the stress and pressure I put on myself the first time around was just plain not helpful.  This time around is so much different.  I "feel" things/sensations differently and I am convinced that, so far, I am producing a bit more than I was able to with Mia.  I am trying to drink liquids all day long and also make sure I am eating enough food to maintain a good supply.  Jack nurses well and has never appeared to be frustrated or upset when finished.  For my own selfish reasons, I immediately started nursing him laying down through the night feedings...this was so easy and helped with my sleep too.  I am also being realistic with myself for pumping too...so far, I have a freezer supply of about 34oz that I got within 4 weeks.  I have no idea if that is "good" or if I am behind, but I feel pretty good about it.  Mia is also VERY interested in what I am doing when I nurse Jack. She asks lots of questions and is all up in my mix.  She also has watched me pump and now will imitate it with her dolls, animals and pretend she is using her teapot as a pump.  Tonight she put the spout of the tea pot on her chest and made a motion like she was turning on the pump and then switched sides and also then decided to nurse her hippopotamus...we were dying with laughter.  I love nursing Jack and I hope we continue having a good experience together.

Sleep:  Looking back in my old school journal I kept with Mia, I notice that by this time, Mia had a few nights sleeping for more than 5 hours straight.  Jack has not done this yet.  BUT...he is still a very good sleeper and form day one has slept well through the night with about 3 wake ups around 11ish, 2ish and 5ish...and so on in to the day.  Sleep is my number one priority to maintain my sanity and there are days I literally can not even find the energy to write a thank you note...and there are other days where I get a lot of tasks done and feel very productive. I just hope we can get a good pattern/routine going by the time I head back to work at the end of April.

Adjustments:  Holy hell, talk about adjusting to having TWO kids at home.  I don't know which is worse...having twins or having a "tantrumy" toddler and then adding a newborn.  So far, there are two main things I notice myself adjusting to while having another newborn at home in addition to having an almost 2.5 yr old: having very little patience for Mia's tantrums/attitude/refusal to eat/potty training regression, and preferring more hibernation or having more hesitation to "go out" for feeling guilty about asking anyone to watch BOTH kids and also having the worry about the next day being too tired to function.  Mia is absolutely testing her limits with us in various ways and many people have noticed that dreaded word: regression. It seems to be getting better and of course it gets better when both Nate and I remain calm and consistent...which we both need to work on.  It also could be her developmental stage and age right now being 2 years 4 months when Jack was born.  The other thing I am adjusting to is my preference lately to "lay low"...this is SO not like me.  You wouldn't think that I've been wanting to hibernate with the list of outings I gave above, but Mon-Fri when it is sometimes just Jack and I...I just want to chill, sleep, search the web and do nothing.  When we do go out or think about going out on weekends, I have this guilt about asking anyone to watch our kids...NOT because I am all emotional about leaving my children with anyone or cant fathom being away from them for a night out...but because who on earth would want to watch TWO kids at the same time when one is a newborn and one is a toddler who can be a little B.  It reminds me of that whole "not wanting to leave for an overnight unless the baby sleeps through the night, otherwise I'd feel guilty for the person having to wake up" thing.  The hibernation thing could also be easily explained by the time of year (cold, wet, blah Feb.) and the obvious fact that my emotions, hormones and body is recovering from labor and child birth....duh, I forgot about that part :)  Overall, I am doing pretty well and I think my fluctuations in mood and energy are pretty typical for most.  I think there are definitely parts of my life and marriage that are operating on survival mode at this point, but I hoping it all evens out once we hit our groove.

K, enough talk (boring!)....on to some pictures.  Again, sorry for the lame phone pics...next month's will be way better :)

See that awesome Velcro swaddle?...Yup, we accidentally left it at the hospital...Booooo!

Neighbor Annie came to visit Jack right away and was very excited to hold him...she is going to be a big sister ANY DAY NOW!

Daddy preparing for first attempt at a photo shoot with his son, awwww

Big sis, Mia, holding Jack and singing a song to him...made our hearts melt and tears flow

Ummm, FREAKY picture!  Mia wanted to "give Jack a bath" and I set him in the take-home tub the hospital gave us and he looks like a fake little doll

Mmmm, first outing for lunch with just Nate, Jack and I (Mia was at day care) while Nate was still on leave...we went to the Crooked Pint Ale House in Mpls, it was yummy

Tummy time!  Mia also wanted to share a toy with Jack...a "Love Bug" craft she had made at day care that week

Little old man, Benjamin Button :)

Mia had a BLAST riding the rides at the MOA

This is Mia's "scary" face.  She colored this all by herself with face crayons from Peapods.

Jack testing out the hand made cradle next door that Annie got as a gift for her dolls...perfect fit.

Snuggle time with daddy

First smiles came around 3.5 weeks old...we think :)
This is just one of my favs...isn't he so cute?!

Jack and his cousin, Ellie (three months older)

Jack's Birth Story

I predict most people will think I am absolutely nuts for taking time to blog about my son's birth story when he isn't even two days old....but I want to document and remember as much as I can and I also notice I some weird "where did that come from" surge of energy tonight, which happens to be our first night home from the hospital.  Might as well make it a productive night while I can...plus, who knows when I'll even "publish" this blog and actually finish it.  (On THAT note, I kid you not....Jack started making noise and whimpering....guess the blog will have to wait). Blog actually finished between Jack's 4th and 5th day of life :)

Disclaimers: THERE WILL BE LOTS OF WORDS AND FEW PICS.  This is a birth story.  Some births happen through people's vagina...so there may be details about that...read at your own risk.  Also, every birth story is different.  Just because you went "all natural" or had a horrible or wonderful experience with a drug, method or visualization tools...doesn't mean it worked for everyone...or went horribly for everyone.  My midwives and nurses, etc told me to be sure and at that as a disclaimer for when I get to my "I love everything about life and birth section of this story".

Okay, here we go:
I started having some contractions late Tuesday night (Jan 31st) and wanted to track them on my "contraction app" on my phone.  From about 11:30-about 5am I was having some pretty regular contractions in terms of intensity; however, they seemed to fluctuate in terms of time.  I took a bath at 3am and called in to the midwives who told me to wait it out and labor at home as much as possible.  With my first child, I had intense back labor and barely felt anything at all in the front....so I just kind of assumed I wasn't having contractions unless they were doubling over painful in your back.  Because these back pains were irregular, I thought it was a false alarm and was very discouraged.  BUT...we decided to go in to the hospital at 3pm and just see where we were at.  We showed up and I was already 5cm dilated!!!  Yeah!!!!  With the good news, we settled in to the room and labored in bed, on the ball, in the tub for the next 3 hours progressing from 5 to a "stretchy 8cm".  The back labor intensified and was crippling...very similar to my experience with our daughter...and I was NOT a fan of this.  I opted not to get an epidural with Mia's delivery and I ended up enduring crazy pain including a long labor, 3 hours of pushing, an episiodomy, vacuum extraction and a 3rd degree tear for "no reason"....I was NOT about to allow this to happen again, Effffff that.   I was super calm, chatty and fine in between contractions so Nate and our awesome team of providers kept saying how well I was doing, how strong I was, how I "could do this".  I knew I COULD...but I didnt WANT to...not without some pain relief.  I knew I had to "convince" them that an epidural was what I wanted in spite of "doing so well"....I said I could still do well with pain meds...duh, people!

Dear Epidural,
Where have you been all of my life and why did I dismiss you over 2 years ago without even getting to know you first?  I am sorry.  You were the best thing that ever happened to me (at least during labor and delivery on Feb1st, 2012).  You knew exactly how to impress me, charm me with your ease and grace and work your magic to make me love you.  Everything you did was "just right" and I love that you didn't overdue it.  Thank you for all you did for me, I will never forget you.
XOXO, Molly

Between 7pm-11:25pm, life and labor were wonderful and great...I know I said it...labor was great.  I was Zen, focused, chatty, crackin jokes, comfortable, calm, patient and relaxed.  There was no sense of "get this over with" or urgency, I was totally patient and willing to let Jack do whatever he needed to do to come when he needed to come out.  I was happy that the epidural didn't stall the labor and things progressed very well and very consistently.  I felt no pain, no "high drugged-out-ness", no urgency and no regret..this was turning out to be glorious.  I started to feel the urge to go to the bathroom (#2) somewhere between 10-11pm and so we decided to start pushing.  It was funny because it was like a natural conversation or something..."okay Molly, let's get ready to start pushing and he'll be here in a few minutes okay?"  Um, ok.  I pushed for a total of 45 min but of course that wasn't CONSTANT...I'd say maybe only about 10-12 contractions worth of pushing...either way, HUGE improvement from last time when I pushed with Mia for nearly 3 hours before her vacuum extraction :) The midwives and our team were absolutely amazing, they should all get awards and homemade baked goods forever.  They coached me toward the end on my pushing so I could "stretch out" and avoid a 3rd degree tear like last time.  This was so cool.  I could feel pressure but no pain and I could feel my hoo-ha stretching the way it should.  AND....they encouraged me to reach down and touch Jack's head....I did and it was all wrinkles....didn't feel like what I expected a head to feel like.  Anywho...about 4 contractions later, I pushed hard and his head came all the way out.  What was funny is then there was a calm pause and I heard them talking about "ok, lets just twist him a smidgen and gently work out his shoulders, okay good...hey Molly why dont you reach for your baby...go ahead."  So I looked down, reached for Jack and seriously helped them pull him out of me!!  Ahhhh, isnt that nuts!? Ba ba ba baaaaaa, BOOM!  Jack was born at 11:25pm 2/1/12.

He instantly cried and opened his eyes and was on my chest for about 20 min before wiping him off and all of that stuff.  We both opted out of cutting the chord.  Nate did it last time and I think it made him queezy so he took a pass...I did too because eh, I did enough by then :)  Although I did stretch, I did end up getting a "barely" 2nd degree tear/rip but it wasn't nearly as bad as before and I have been told that the "repair" work was done excellently and I should expect a very nice recovery and presentation of my taint area very shortly.  I love that they "order" us to take hot baths everyday, I will certainly follow those recommendations...I also think they said something about the bath being accompanied with a wine or beer too...but I could have misunderstood them :)

So...there you have it.  Of course there are so many details to talk and write about after the labor and delivery, but we'll get to those in due time...just taking it one day at a time.  I am overwhelmed with thanks and gratitude to the team of professionals that worked with and supported us and I am so happy to have two such different L/D experiences to recall and celebrate.  This truly was probably the most amazing experience of my life and I am so happy I have fond memories to reflect on.  Having this/these delivery experiences makes me more comfortable and "okay" with the fact that this will be our last child...I was sad about it during my pregnancy knowing that I'll never be pregnant again, never have my own 1 day old baby to hold again, all of that....but now I am content and 100% positive and okay with that decision.

Not a good pic, but what can you do?