Habits: Again, that little cute Webster says that a habit is a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior. I guess then, the ultimate goal would be to have your routines just turn themselves in to habits right? Habits are typically referred to as either good or bad. Good habits can be making your bed, brushing your teeth, etc. Bad habits are chewing your nails, popping your gum or chewing ice in a movie theater. I am trying to figure out the distinction between habits and routine. It seems like it is more about consciousness: you may be less aware of your habits in the moment and they have simply "settled" into a common or typical behavior; whereas routine takes thought and preparation to first get it going. Feelin'me?
Traditions: George Papadapolis' midget adopted son, Webster, claims that traditions are inherited, established or customary patterns of thought, action or behavior. That seems too boring. I tend to place much more value in the word tradition. Too me, traditions take the most amount of consciousness, thought, effort and follow through. Like routines, traditions can ultimately be predicted and anticipated and I believe the hope is that they eventually become habits as well. BUT...I believe there is an additional element for the creation of traditions: a sense of higher purpose or meaning. Yeah, routines have purpose too...but it seems to be more about meeting basic needs and logistics. Traditions are more about making and encouraging conscious connections and shared meaningful experiences....which is maybe why they are so hard for me to make and stick to.
I write this blog because I am trying to figure out why the hell it has been so easy for me to establish routines for my family, why it's hard for me to break habits and most importantly, why on earth can I/we not create meaningful, predictable, consistent fun traditions? Is it because the added element of connection, consciousness, and meaning comes along with pressure, fear of failure and vulnerability? Yes, yes and yes. Excuses get in the way of us creating meaningful traditions: weather, motivation, hangovers, kids, family, friends, money, work, feared perceptions of others, resentments, tasks, etc. We've allowed it to happen, I've contributed to it and I want to get better. So now what, where do we start and how do we forgive ourselves for slacking up until now?
Let it go. Celebrate the successes we HAVE had. Identify and build on the good.
Done and done! Now I want some fun examples of your family traditions that have meaning to you....maybe we'll adopt them as well :)
Just Sayin'
This was a comment from my mom, but she doesn't know how to post comments :)......
ReplyDeleteOne has to examine the origin of a tradition, it's meaningfulness for the present time and be willing to re-evalutate it's form as your life circumstances change and then be willing to create a new tradition ( make it your own) or give it up entirely without guilt. Why keep doing something that is not feeding everyone's spirit ? I also think there is a hierarchy of traditions, ones that are culturally, religiously or ethnically based and go back for generations-- such as what we saw with the Royal Wedding-- ( Kate and Wil, modernized and personalized, certain aspects of the day, but clearly could not mess with others.) When one keeps those traditions there is a certain amount of respect that goes with acknowledging those who went before us and whose shoulders we stand on. And then there are those traditions that are created or interpreted at a family level. Maybe instead of labeling them traditions, think of them as flexible celebrations,
First of all LMAO about George Papadopolis' midget adopted son.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, this is a very interesting topic for me as Aaron and I are about to start a family (any damn day now would be fine!!) Growing up with divorced parents, tradition is something I don't really feel that I fully understand or appreciate. Every holiday was different for me, not much of a common thread after the age of 8 or 9. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and I think it taught me a lot about being adaptable from an early age. But at the same time it would be nice to forge some family traditions with the baby, some things she can rely on and look forward to year after year.
Ultimately I think the best traditions are the ones that are not forced or planned but just naturally end up taking place year after year and feel right for everyone. So let your traditions come to you!